My Self Worth & Value Depends On Inanimate Objects; Any Thoughts On What This Means?

I do not know if it is trauma related, bpd or some other mental illness related behavior; but I think it's time I open up about something I am ashamed of, yet at this moment know to be solid truth. First, let me state; I am not a particularly materialistic person. However, I have always … Continue reading My Self Worth & Value Depends On Inanimate Objects; Any Thoughts On What This Means?

Let Me Escape Into Fantasy and Video Games

-Octopath Traveler, screenshot by..me 😐 (my apologies for the length of my below rant...) And that text defines so very much how I feel tonight... I hope you guys won't mind, but I'm going to talk about my escape, in probably too much detail, but...as I explain further down, I am conflicted within myself over … Continue reading Let Me Escape Into Fantasy and Video Games

Today’s My Birthday- Why I’m Crying

Today is my birthday. I have always loathed my birthday and not because of age as I don’t feel different. To me, my birthday is a complicated reminder of being unwanted, forgotten or of being unknown. I hope this doesn’t sound selfish. If it is, then let me start by saying, I honestly do not … Continue reading Today’s My Birthday- Why I’m Crying

Consumed & Forgotten

Part of my Borderline is I begin to cease to exist when I am unseen, in particular. I don't need to have an on going conversation with the person on the other end of the camera, in fact, it's usually best if we just do our own thing. Ideally, random sharing of whatever each of … Continue reading Consumed & Forgotten

The Forgotten Importance of Familiarity

"It wore the tread of visitors trickling in and out to spend time with us. It echoed the crying — it amplified the laughter. It kept bending and creasing, like a giant old sweatshirt, to be exactly what we needed when we didn’t even know what we needed."See link below. That quote is so perfect; the emotion, the … Continue reading The Forgotten Importance of Familiarity