Boundaries…Update

As I stated in a recent post about boundaries, I am not very good with them. I do not understand, but in that post, I made plans to try and create boundaries that I actually kept. I failed, greatly. It put me in a position to where I have even more opportunity to either stand … Continue reading Boundaries…Update

The More It Makes Sense- Suicide & Loss

Octopath Traveller Nothing has made sense for a long time; I have so many things to express, so many things which are drowning me… but I cannot find the words. I believe my mental health is making me physically ill, as a side note, thus I slept a lot lately. Even now I write this … Continue reading The More It Makes Sense- Suicide & Loss

The INVISIBLE and IGNORED- I’m The Misunderstood, Severely Traumatized, Mentally Ill

BETRAYED! I FEEL RAGE, I FEEL HATE, AND I FEEL IT BECAUSE I AM SCARED SHITLESS, BECAUSE A PROMISE OF SAFETY WAS BROKEN WHEN I WAS TOLD IF I COULD NOT HANDLE SOMETHING YOU WOULD MAKE SURE IT DID NOT HAPPEN AND THEN YOU DID LET IT HAPPEN WHILE NOT ASKING ONCE IF I WAS … Continue reading The INVISIBLE and IGNORED- I’m The Misunderstood, Severely Traumatized, Mentally Ill

Just a Rambling of Words

My Mind This is not a cry for help or a plea for attention. I just need to write words into the abyss beyond the 'publish' button, knowing perhaps I am not totally voiceless. Voiceless in my own pain, my own torment; that which is my mental illnesses. Mental illness is to sum up what … Continue reading Just a Rambling of Words

Let Me Escape Into Fantasy and Video Games

-Octopath Traveler, screenshot by..me 😐 (my apologies for the length of my below rant...) And that text defines so very much how I feel tonight... I hope you guys won't mind, but I'm going to talk about my escape, in probably too much detail, but...as I explain further down, I am conflicted within myself over … Continue reading Let Me Escape Into Fantasy and Video Games

Consumed & Forgotten

Part of my Borderline is I begin to cease to exist when I am unseen, in particular. I don't need to have an on going conversation with the person on the other end of the camera, in fact, it's usually best if we just do our own thing. Ideally, random sharing of whatever each of … Continue reading Consumed & Forgotten

When/Why I Believe Half of My Fighting Spirit Died….

The other half is a bit more in depth and a hell of a lot longer in regards to post length so.... I just hope I can revive that part of myself. Fear guards me. Fear that stems from self hate, I believe. I want to go back to the days of being in a … Continue reading When/Why I Believe Half of My Fighting Spirit Died….

The Denial of Mental Illness(es) With Very Hurtful & Unrelated Thoughts

I often wonder how anyone would be ashamed of the scars left from self injury? I am proud of mine- work in progress since age 4 and while I am not a supporter of self harm, I would never suggest anyone engaging in it, it has sadly been a huge part of my life and … Continue reading The Denial of Mental Illness(es) With Very Hurtful & Unrelated Thoughts

Are You Broken and/or Judged on Your Past, Too? Here’s My Plan. You’re not alone.

Nor are you necessarily "bad"- changing behaviors, appreciated or not, acknowledged or not, doing your best, but getting nothing but shit all still means you are trying and that is a hell of a lot more than most people can say. With that said, don't be so quick to blame yourself. Words are beautiful; especially … Continue reading Are You Broken and/or Judged on Your Past, Too? Here’s My Plan. You’re not alone.

I’m Terrified, So I’ll Just Text You… So You Know -BPD Story Time

I'm going to call this an "impulse post" because I'm going to write this instead of being impulsive and doing things that I've noticed over the years a) most others don't do or understand and b) it tends to cause more problems than what it is worth. What am I talking about? So! Let's back … Continue reading I’m Terrified, So I’ll Just Text You… So You Know -BPD Story Time