The More It Makes Sense- Suicide & Loss

Octopath Traveller Nothing has made sense for a long time; I have so many things to express, so many things which are drowning me… but I cannot find the words. I believe my mental health is making me physically ill, as a side note, thus I slept a lot lately. Even now I write this … Continue reading The More It Makes Sense- Suicide & Loss

Is It I’m Going Too Slow, Doing Too Much, Or Perhaps I’m Doing Suspended In Nothingness?

I am very angry at myself over this. Any feedback would be very much appreciated, if anyone relates or if anyone has advice, either comments, tumblr, email... Please... let me know if I am being weak? Is THIS The Problem? Since I was 14 I have been devoted to nothing but fighting racism in the … Continue reading Is It I’m Going Too Slow, Doing Too Much, Or Perhaps I’m Doing Suspended In Nothingness?

Introduction- A Death Wish; Nice Long Trial of Suicide Posts.

I am ready to die. But I know it is not my time; I am here, I have knowledge and I think it may one day, I hope, help others. I am not looking for attention. I truly hope to help. So until the day that I cannot take the hurt, abandonment, misunderstandings of how … Continue reading Introduction- A Death Wish; Nice Long Trial of Suicide Posts.

The INVISIBLE and IGNORED- I’m The Misunderstood, Severely Traumatized, Mentally Ill

BETRAYED! I FEEL RAGE, I FEEL HATE, AND I FEEL IT BECAUSE I AM SCARED SHITLESS, BECAUSE A PROMISE OF SAFETY WAS BROKEN WHEN I WAS TOLD IF I COULD NOT HANDLE SOMETHING YOU WOULD MAKE SURE IT DID NOT HAPPEN AND THEN YOU DID LET IT HAPPEN WHILE NOT ASKING ONCE IF I WAS … Continue reading The INVISIBLE and IGNORED- I’m The Misunderstood, Severely Traumatized, Mentally Ill

Just a Rambling of Words

My Mind This is not a cry for help or a plea for attention. I just need to write words into the abyss beyond the 'publish' button, knowing perhaps I am not totally voiceless. Voiceless in my own pain, my own torment; that which is my mental illnesses. Mental illness is to sum up what … Continue reading Just a Rambling of Words

Today’s My Birthday- Why I’m Crying

Today is my birthday. I have always loathed my birthday and not because of age as I don’t feel different. To me, my birthday is a complicated reminder of being unwanted, forgotten or of being unknown. I hope this doesn’t sound selfish. If it is, then let me start by saying, I honestly do not … Continue reading Today’s My Birthday- Why I’m Crying

Falling Inside The Black

There is no understanding of what it is to lose control. Perhaps it is just too far beyond others comprehension, that a mental illness can actually cause severely disrupting problems... Or, maybe they are just too good to be bothered by it. Maybe everything was just a joke and a lie all along. I don't … Continue reading Falling Inside The Black