This is a long rant, I am sorry if it doesn't make sense... I am so broken, please forgive me... and please if someone will help me understand if I am wrong, or if kindness should be possible maybe... and I want to note, I am happy to be drained and worn down after taking … Continue reading Am I Deserving Of This? Please Help Me Understand, I Beg You

This post is about an aspect I do not know the name for. I have some idea but right now I just need to vent... I have always struggled with being unseen... it started with me as a very young teenager finding my reading and writing a lot harder to do if I was not … Continue reading What Does It Mean

I am very bitter and resentful towards my life at times despite it giving me the ability to relate to others, empathize and want to help anyone suffering as well as fight injustices that are going on. The bitterness, the self hate and resent comes in when I wake up motivated, start to do something … Continue reading Random Personal Rant

I have a chance at a wonderful life with a wonderful man. I have a chance to pursue my dreams, and other avenues such as voice acting and other that I never knew I'd be interested in. It's time I start focusing on my research, writing and healing...and on family.xt† True family. I should not … Continue reading Rant: Wishes of Me Dead?

Are you still alive; are you scared inside?....

Please, for respect of me, and my mental state atm, if you don't first hear the full song/lyrics...and understand that is, again, word for word me... please do not continue reading. Even if you have heard it a trillion times... This one time playing; if you want inside my mind and heart; or a ...gateway … Continue reading You Think You’re Ready For It? Let’s Go.

I find myself feeling very sad and guilty that I am unable to focus on what are very important tasks in my activism. I am not sure if this is an accurate statement or if this is just my attempt to make myself feel better, but I recall when I was 13 or so someone … Continue reading Ramblings

The last time I wrote on this blog I didn't post it. I didn't post it because there was a person in my life who felt betrayed because I would get on here and write instead of go to them. Stupidly, I gave in despite it crushing my soul; I really enjoy writing, it's cathartic … Continue reading I’m Back; I’ve More Scars -But More Knowledge, Too…

I don't understand how my sincere attempts of goodness and love seem to find a way this past year of always backfiring on me, creating some form of....painful backfire right to the soul. I can have the best of intentions, but when any emotion is "out of whack" with what I know it normally is … Continue reading On My Intentions & Life Altering Fear-

Why is it anytime one finds hope there is always some form of 'string' attached to it? The reality of what can and cannot be clouds my mind and uncertainty is a loud, unwanted force. Anytime I open up myself and share my heart there is always, so it seems, another force fighting for that … Continue reading Losing Hope