Just a Rambling of Words

My Mind This is not a cry for help or a plea for attention. I just need to write words into the abyss beyond the 'publish' button, knowing perhaps I am not totally voiceless. Voiceless in my own pain, my own torment; that which is my mental illnesses. Mental illness is to sum up what … Continue reading Just a Rambling of Words

Let Me Escape Into Fantasy and Video Games

-Octopath Traveler, screenshot by..me 😐 (my apologies for the length of my below rant...) And that text defines so very much how I feel tonight... I hope you guys won't mind, but I'm going to talk about my escape, in probably too much detail, but...as I explain further down, I am conflicted within myself over … Continue reading Let Me Escape Into Fantasy and Video Games

How The Spirits Guide Me… personal post

I know many will think I’m crazy; if you do not believe in spiritual studies, etc I respect that but I ask you to please keep it to yourself or don’t read my page. I force this on no one 😊 I felt the need to share, so… I share. I am very spiritual; like … Continue reading How The Spirits Guide Me… personal post

Today’s My Birthday- Why I’m Crying

Today is my birthday. I have always loathed my birthday and not because of age as I don’t feel different. To me, my birthday is a complicated reminder of being unwanted, forgotten or of being unknown. I hope this doesn’t sound selfish. If it is, then let me start by saying, I honestly do not … Continue reading Today’s My Birthday- Why I’m Crying

Attempting To Create & Enforce Boundaries, Or A Boundary…

Boundaries. I struggle greatly with this damn concept. What is, or is not, too much for me to expect of others, or for me to expect them to respect in regards to what I feel? I was raised without anyone speaking of boundaries that I recall, being BPD and having dissociation that leaves me as … Continue reading Attempting To Create & Enforce Boundaries, Or A Boundary…

Consumed & Forgotten

Part of my Borderline is I begin to cease to exist when I am unseen, in particular. I don't need to have an on going conversation with the person on the other end of the camera, in fact, it's usually best if we just do our own thing. Ideally, random sharing of whatever each of … Continue reading Consumed & Forgotten

When/Why I Believe Half of My Fighting Spirit Died….

The other half is a bit more in depth and a hell of a lot longer in regards to post length so.... I just hope I can revive that part of myself. Fear guards me. Fear that stems from self hate, I believe. I want to go back to the days of being in a … Continue reading When/Why I Believe Half of My Fighting Spirit Died….

The Denial of Mental Illness(es) With Very Hurtful & Unrelated Thoughts

I often wonder how anyone would be ashamed of the scars left from self injury? I am proud of mine- work in progress since age 4 and while I am not a supporter of self harm, I would never suggest anyone engaging in it, it has sadly been a huge part of my life and … Continue reading The Denial of Mental Illness(es) With Very Hurtful & Unrelated Thoughts

Maybe I’m Learning Boundaries? Or … What Is This?

My chest is heavy. As an update, I recently was put in a psychiatric hospital. After release, I came back to the home where I see my mom of almost 84 years doing poorly. Her sister is here, too. She likes to judge; I am an easy target to judge incorrectly, I think that makes … Continue reading Maybe I’m Learning Boundaries? Or … What Is This?