Boundaries…Update

As I stated in a recent post about boundaries, I am not very good with them. I do not understand, but in that post, I made plans to try and create boundaries that I actually kept. I failed, greatly. It put me in a position to where I have even more opportunity to either stand … Continue reading Boundaries…Update

My Self Worth & Value Depends On Inanimate Objects; Any Thoughts On What This Means?

I do not know if it is trauma related, bpd or some other mental illness related behavior; but I think it's time I open up about something I am ashamed of, yet at this moment know to be solid truth. First, let me state; I am not a particularly materialistic person. However, I have always … Continue reading My Self Worth & Value Depends On Inanimate Objects; Any Thoughts On What This Means?

Introduction- A Death Wish; Nice Long Trial of Suicide Posts.

I am ready to die. But I know it is not my time; I am here, I have knowledge and I think it may one day, I hope, help others. I am not looking for attention. I truly hope to help. So until the day that I cannot take the hurt, abandonment, misunderstandings of how … Continue reading Introduction- A Death Wish; Nice Long Trial of Suicide Posts.

The INVISIBLE and IGNORED- I’m The Misunderstood, Severely Traumatized, Mentally Ill

BETRAYED! I FEEL RAGE, I FEEL HATE, AND I FEEL IT BECAUSE I AM SCARED SHITLESS, BECAUSE A PROMISE OF SAFETY WAS BROKEN WHEN I WAS TOLD IF I COULD NOT HANDLE SOMETHING YOU WOULD MAKE SURE IT DID NOT HAPPEN AND THEN YOU DID LET IT HAPPEN WHILE NOT ASKING ONCE IF I WAS … Continue reading The INVISIBLE and IGNORED- I’m The Misunderstood, Severely Traumatized, Mentally Ill

Let Me Escape Into Fantasy and Video Games

-Octopath Traveler, screenshot by..me 😐 (my apologies for the length of my below rant...) And that text defines so very much how I feel tonight... I hope you guys won't mind, but I'm going to talk about my escape, in probably too much detail, but...as I explain further down, I am conflicted within myself over … Continue reading Let Me Escape Into Fantasy and Video Games

The Curse of The Past & Future

Dr. Fox talks about one big challenge for borderlines (and I suppose any severe mental illness) is when we make progress and step forward, those around us push us down. Expecting the same thing as before, they give nothing positive and cry out in a manner that is trying to predict the future; a future … Continue reading The Curse of The Past & Future

Advice For Those Working With/Helping BPD

Borderlines are misunderstood and incorrectly judged by stereotypes made by false information, or the attention the dramatic, manipulative, abusive BPD's get. Once a doctor learns the subtype that is dominant in their patient, the most hurtful thing they can do with a patient trying their best is accuse them of being something they are not. … Continue reading Advice For Those Working With/Helping BPD

I’m Terrified, So I’ll Just Text You… So You Know -BPD Story Time

I'm going to call this an "impulse post" because I'm going to write this instead of being impulsive and doing things that I've noticed over the years a) most others don't do or understand and b) it tends to cause more problems than what it is worth. What am I talking about? So! Let's back … Continue reading I’m Terrified, So I’ll Just Text You… So You Know -BPD Story Time

BPD “Anger” – It’s A Protective Mask; But Who Remembers That?

One of the hardest things for me to live with is my inability to turn my defenses off except under certain circumstances; i.e., my being alone for a period of time. Off and on people come and go and may understand that when I say I need to be alone, I mean, I need to be … Continue reading BPD “Anger” – It’s A Protective Mask; But Who Remembers That?

Stable and Unstable Support; I Feel Guilty For Even Wishing I Had it, So This is a Vent Post I Suppose

I apologize for my delay in writing recently. I felt guilty for trying to express myself to an invisible audience, one which I hope my insane posts may reach and help in any way even if it is just to help others know you do not struggle alone. It prompted my writing (or beginning to … Continue reading Stable and Unstable Support; I Feel Guilty For Even Wishing I Had it, So This is a Vent Post I Suppose