How The Spirits Guide Me… personal post

I know many will think I’m crazy; if you do not believe in spiritual studies, etc I respect that but I ask you to please keep it to yourself or don’t read my page. I force this on no one 😊 I felt the need to share, so… I share. I am very spiritual; like … Continue reading How The Spirits Guide Me… personal post

Today’s My Birthday- Why I’m Crying

Today is my birthday. I have always loathed my birthday and not because of age as I don’t feel different. To me, my birthday is a complicated reminder of being unwanted, forgotten or of being unknown. I hope this doesn’t sound selfish. If it is, then let me start by saying, I honestly do not … Continue reading Today’s My Birthday- Why I’m Crying

When/Why I Believe Half of My Fighting Spirit Died….

The other half is a bit more in depth and a hell of a lot longer in regards to post length so.... I just hope I can revive that part of myself. Fear guards me. Fear that stems from self hate, I believe. I want to go back to the days of being in a … Continue reading When/Why I Believe Half of My Fighting Spirit Died….

The Denial of Mental Illness(es) With Very Hurtful & Unrelated Thoughts

I often wonder how anyone would be ashamed of the scars left from self injury? I am proud of mine- work in progress since age 4 and while I am not a supporter of self harm, I would never suggest anyone engaging in it, it has sadly been a huge part of my life and … Continue reading The Denial of Mental Illness(es) With Very Hurtful & Unrelated Thoughts

Maybe I’m Learning Boundaries? Or … What Is This?

My chest is heavy. As an update, I recently was put in a psychiatric hospital. After release, I came back to the home where I see my mom of almost 84 years doing poorly. Her sister is here, too. She likes to judge; I am an easy target to judge incorrectly, I think that makes … Continue reading Maybe I’m Learning Boundaries? Or … What Is This?

The Forgotten Importance of Familiarity

"It wore the tread of visitors trickling in and out to spend time with us. It echoed the crying — it amplified the laughter. It kept bending and creasing, like a giant old sweatshirt, to be exactly what we needed when we didn’t even know what we needed."See link below. That quote is so perfect; the emotion, the … Continue reading The Forgotten Importance of Familiarity

The Curse of The Past & Future

Dr. Fox talks about one big challenge for borderlines (and I suppose any severe mental illness) is when we make progress and step forward, those around us push us down. Expecting the same thing as before, they give nothing positive and cry out in a manner that is trying to predict the future; a future … Continue reading The Curse of The Past & Future

I’m Terrified, So I’ll Just Text You… So You Know -BPD Story Time

I'm going to call this an "impulse post" because I'm going to write this instead of being impulsive and doing things that I've noticed over the years a) most others don't do or understand and b) it tends to cause more problems than what it is worth. What am I talking about? So! Let's back … Continue reading I’m Terrified, So I’ll Just Text You… So You Know -BPD Story Time

I have so much I want to update on this blog, I have been fairly withdrawn from writing for a few weeks due to my own inabilities to say no to others, more or less. I have a lot of updates on my Ketamine treatment as well as random daily posts I've written down by … Continue reading

BPD “Anger” – It’s A Protective Mask; But Who Remembers That?

One of the hardest things for me to live with is my inability to turn my defenses off except under certain circumstances; i.e., my being alone for a period of time. Off and on people come and go and may understand that when I say I need to be alone, I mean, I need to be … Continue reading BPD “Anger” – It’s A Protective Mask; But Who Remembers That?